words

Pit toilets are old news. I broke myself in on those within my first hour on the ground in Japan. They`re quite easy to use, provided you have reasonably good balance. Thai toilets, however, are a whole new adventure.

As you probably realize, toilet paper is used very rarely outside the Western world. In fact, it wasn`t even common in America until the advent of the ubiquitous Sears catalog.

Thai toilets feature what appears to be a vegetable washer hanging next to them, not unlike what you might see as extending from your kitchen sink. This, as Geoffe the expat phrased it, is a `bum gun`. Like most Thai water, this is unheated, which — again as Geoffe put it — is `rather bracing`.

Ostensibly, this veggie washer is an ingenious way to achieve levels of post-restroom, intimate cleanliness that you`ve never before experienced. In the unpracticed hands of a Farang tourist, however, it appears to be an excellent way to spray fecal soup across your anatomy, trousers, and perhaps the wall of the restroom that the 7-11 employees kindly allowed use of.

Oops.

Now that it’s Thursday (well, entering Friday in Bangkok), this welcome news has arrived:

Bangkok airports to be fully operational by Friday

Thai officials say Bangkok’s main international airport will be fully operational again by Friday, offering hope to tens of thousands of tourists left stranded by the country’s political crisis. (source)

On December 2nd, things begin to look simultaneously better, and worse:

Thailand’s government has been disbanded and the Prime Minister barred from politics for five years in a court ruling that has prompted fears of a slide into civil war.

However, fears of violent clashes, or worse, are growing. “It now seems that violence cannot be avoided. Some even predict what has been unthinkable for 700 years: a civil war,” the Bangkok Post said in an editorial. It added: “Does Thailand have a functioning government?”(source)

This is better, since the People’s Alliance for Democracy (PAD) has gotten the verdict they were hoping for. The People’s Power Party (PPP) has been dissolved. At the same time, it’s a bit worse, since now the country may enter civil war.

The Associated Press has published a nice timeline of the events leading up to this point. My favorite bit is when Prime Minister Samak is removed from office in September for appearing on a cooking show.

Well, as of today, I’m still hopeful. This has just been reported:

Thai airports to reopen after government falls

Protest leaders said the airport seizures would end Wednesday. (source)

So, the protesters should be clearing out right now and — assuming one week to resume services — the airports could be open by the time I leave next Monday. Of course, this is all wild speculation and finger-crossing, but then I do tend to be lucky about these sorts of things…

While I was shopping for tickets, I began to see some worrying news about Thailand:

Governments have warned their citizens about traveling to Thailand during the current wave of protests and blockade of international airports.

And while few governments have explicitly told their citizens not to go to Thailand, many warn it is something to be approached with great caution. (source)

Er, wait, what? The international airports are blockaded? I put off Thailand — land of mango sticky rice and relaxed days of climbing on the beach — for years, and just when I finally decide to go, they shut down all the airports?!

Well, according to miscellaneous websites, the blockade was expected to clear by Monday, only outgoing flights were blockaded, and everything sounded very non-violent. As an outsider, violence toward me seems extremely unlikely and, to be honest, the idea of witnessing such an historic event is appealing. So, with quite the case of nerves, I purchased the tickets.

Unfortunately, I discovered this on the US Embassy website just after making my purchase:

American citizens travelling or living in Thailand should be aware that the People’s Alliance for Democracy (PAD) has entered and forced the closure of Suvarnabhumi and Don Muang airports in Bangkok. All incoming and outgoing flights have been cancelled. We do not know when flights will resume. (source)

In retrospect, it seems obvious that ingoing flights couldn’t continue indefinitely. Why would carriers fly planes into Thailand, only to come back empty?

More news came in as Monday drew to a close:

Protesters solidify grip on Thailand airports…

The general manager of Suvarnabhumi said it could take a week to resume operations when the protesters finally leave, because security and computer systems had been compromised during the blockade. (source)

I’ve wanted to go to Thailand for several years now. The warm weather, world-renowned climbing, beautiful beaches, and unlimited mango sticky rice have been calling to me. But with a nearly 24 hour flight time over, it’s just not worth it when you’ve only got a week of vacation to burn.

Luckily (sort of), I was laid off in late October. Now that we’re firmly into the holiday season, the number of job postings as dwindled. In my experience, the job market will remain stagnant through the new year. So, with no real plan in mind, I decided that I should go to Thailand for a full month, early-December through early January.

Of course, this means that I’ll miss the holidays at home. But after 33 years of consistently visiting my family around Christmastime, I think I could do with a small break. Besides, I just visited them at the beginning of November. It’s not like they’re going to go into Jeff-withdrawals…